Wednesday, February 3, 2010

What's the point here?

I'm back from a rather disappointing appointment with my rheumatologist. I am not starting a new DMARD like I'd hoped. My weight is still not what he wants it to be. He is afraid that the gastrointestinal side effects that go along with the medication would cause even more weight loss which I cannot afford.

Now, my medication list looks like this: Etodolac (NEW), Prednisone (7.5 mg), Plaquenil, Restasis, Voltaren gel and Tylenol III (NEW).

I got so upset I was near tears when I asked if I could ever hope to be free from pain and he said in my case, no. I have too much osteoarthritis which is secondary to the RA and he can only give me pain medication and NSAIDs for that.

We discussed my thumb joint replacement and he wants me to see a hand specialist instead of the orthopedic surgeon I saw in December. I'm happy about that. I'd rather trust the resulting usefulness of my thumb to someone who only does hands.

So, again I am waiting, four months this time. I'm on a higher dose of pred, which will only worsen my osteoporosis. I have no DMARD but plaquenil to control the RA. The RA is worsening the osteoarthritis, which will lead to more pain and more joint replacements.

I'm not too happy, or too comfortable. I'm too agitated to sleep if my parts would even let me. I wish I'd rushed to the pharmacy before they closed. Maybe the codeine would have been a little help.

I really doubt that I'll ever gain enough weight to satisfy him. My pre-RA weight was 98lbs. and since RA, I've had a lot of trouble staying above 90. I'm almost to the point of just relying on pain treatment alone. It doesn't seem like my disease treatment is going anywhere at all. I don't know how long I can tread this kind of water, or how much more patience I can find to keep up the waiting. I. just. feel. about done.

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