The joy of doing nothing.

I am out of my cast and trying hard to get my range-of-motion back in my arm. I can reach my face with a fork or a toothbrush, but it still hurts. I'm also dealing with cellulitis on my thigh from a razor nick. The weirdest stuff happens to me it seems. At least a couple of rocephin shots and 15 days of antibiotics should cure it. I'm now on day 8.

Tomorrow will be a busy day. I'll have my permanent punctal plugs inserted, see my GP for another recheck of my cellulitis and pick up some work from the office. When that is done, I plan to get back to my newest hobby, relaxing.

Relaxing is something everyone should strive to become really good at. I never really knew how to relax until my broken right elbow. It is a lesson I am really happy to learn. It has done me so much good.

My former definition of relaxing was "doing something sitting down." Now I know that relaxing is doing absolutely nothing. You just let your body go entirely limp and breathe deeply. I think it is really more restful and satisfying than sleep. It is kind of hard to get the hang of, but once you do, you'll do it every chance you get.

That's all I really have to share today. I'll be back at work in a week, and I won't have the chance to do nothing for much longer, so I'd better get to it.

FrankenElbow

I saw my orthopedic surgeon today to have my staples removed. A student doctor removed them a little hesitantly and a couple just didn't want to come out. The doc said my incision looked beautiful. I'll let you be the judge. I guess when I'm brave enough to clean off all the dried blood it won't be quite so bad. There is still a lot of swelling and bruising, but I guess the incision itself does look pretty good.

He started wrapping my arm with a roll of white fuzzy stuff and I asked what he was doing to me. I was mostly just suprised that he didn't clean my arm before he wrapped it. He told me he was going to put me in a new clean splint and then he said, "Wait a minute. I don't do this for most people, because most people don't listen to me. But, I think you'll listen to me." He left the room and came back with an elastic tube, slid it on my arm and told me to keep my sling on all the time, even in bed and to try to keep it in that position as much as possible. He said that would allow some movement, but not much. I'm not to use my arm until I see him next. I'll have to go back in three weeks to start therapy, or as he said, to "start moving this thing."

I love the fact that I can take the tube off to shower and I can get my arm in tops that I couldn't get that log of a cast in (goodbye baggy t-shirts, hello warm sweaters!), but there are definitely some trade-offs. The cast offered protection and support that I don't have now. My elbow hurts going over bumps in the car, with very slight movement and when it is touched. I'm going to have to be especially careful with my grandson, my dogs and door frames (yes, I'm clumsy). I tried moving my arm both up and down and it just won't do it. That is a very strange feeling. I'm sure it will get better over the next three weeks, but therapy is going to HURT!

I had a good look at my incision in the mirror when I got home and had my son take the photos above. I'm not sure why, maybe just the cast, but my wrist and hand are really bruised and swollen. I should have had him photograph it next to my left hand to show the difference. The lightest color in the image is my usual winter skin color.

I'm hoping it will be a looooong time before I fall again and I'm going to do my best to stay as far away from the hospital as I can. I'm not looking forward to therapy or to the bills that are headed my way.

I did learn today that the bone I fractured is called the olecranon (O-Leck-Ra-Non).

Isn't life just a little too interesting sometimes?

Sasquatch No More

I've learned to do lots of things left-handed in the nine days since my surgery, but I couldn't quite get the hang of shaving without major blood-letting. I couldn't even reach my left armpit. A very close friend helped me shave and get back to feeling smooth and silky and much more feminine today. I'm loving the smell of apricot-scented Boothe's lotion too. I wish I could fit my cast through the sleeve of my favorite PJ's - then I'd be truly comfortable (as I can get).

I'm still having quite a bit of pain, and my hand and fingers are swollen and discolored from the tightness of the cast. It is also maddeningly itchy.

But I'm enjoying the small things when I can, like today's transformation from sasquatch to silky female.

Oh, My Not Funny Bone

On Friday the snow and ice were melting and making nice puddles on my patio and mud in my yard. I went out on the patio to feed my two big dogs when my chihuahua, Ernie (no, not one of the big dogs) decided he would chase the neighbor's dobermans up and down the fence, in the mud. I started out after him, to keep him from being a muddy mess or doberman chow. What I thought were mere liquid puddles turned out to be puddle-covered ICE. In not more than two steps, I came down very hard on my right elbow. It would be very hard to describe that pain, but if you are an empath like me, your elbow hurts just thinking about it.

I spent the weekend in the hospital because the break required surgery to repair. I now have two pins, a spring and 16 staples. I'm in a hand-to-armpit hard-cast that is open in the incision area. I'll have to have another surgery in 18 months to remove the wacky spring.

Since I am right-handed, this injury has made so many things impossible or very difficult. I cannot apply makeup or write at all. Brushing my teeth is very difficult. Typing an average-sized blog post takes FOREVER!

I probably won't post much, if at all, until this "so funny" bone heals in six weeks. I'm not really sure how I'll entertain myself.

Be very careful my friends. This is not fun! I have learned a lesson about how unreliable my judgement is sometimes, and I am SO ready for spring!

Hooray for snow!

I have to admit that although I'm a little tired of the cold, I'm loving the snow. I was off from work yesterday and today. Actually, my office opened at 1:00 p.m. today, but I had approved sick leave for the afternoon for an appointment with the eye doctor. Four full days from work, counting the weekend!

Because I take plaquenil and it can effect your vision, I have to have exams every six months. One exam is the usual eye exam and the other is for the vision field test and color blindess test. I have also had major problems with dry eyes due to secondary sjorgrens syndrome. I've tried Restasis over the last six months and it didn't help me, so I'm trying out punctal plugs. He said the Restasis helps you to make more tears, and since that didn't help, we would try to keep the ones that I make by using the plugs.

Today I had two lower absorbable punctal plugs inserted. They should last about a month. I'll go back in two months, and if they helped, I'll have lower permanent plugs placed. I can have the upper two plugged later if I want to. I can tell a difference already. There is a slight irritation from having it done, but it should be gone in a day. I'm happy because my vision is not blurry and my eyes feel fairly moist.

I'm also liking the etodolac, even though I thought I wouldn't. All in all, I'm not feeling too bad right now. That could be due to having a nice four day weekend, I suppose. I'm just going to have to see how it goes for the next 3 1/2 months

I'm not even going to try to explain to anyone how arthritis can effect your eyes or your internal organs. No one quite gets it until they've got it themselves. A little over four years ago, I didn't know anything about rheumatoid arthritis. That ignorance was definitely bliss. I just didn't know it at the time.

Maybe someday, I'll return to my former ignorance. Every little bliss I can win back from RA is a cherished blessing. Thank you God and Doctor "S" for my blissful blessing. I am a very grateful girl.

What's the point here?

I'm back from a rather disappointing appointment with my rheumatologist. I am not starting a new DMARD like I'd hoped. My weight is still not what he wants it to be. He is afraid that the gastrointestinal side effects that go along with the medication would cause even more weight loss which I cannot afford.

Now, my medication list looks like this: Etodolac (NEW), Prednisone (7.5 mg), Plaquenil, Restasis, Voltaren gel and Tylenol III (NEW).

I got so upset I was near tears when I asked if I could ever hope to be free from pain and he said in my case, no. I have too much osteoarthritis which is secondary to the RA and he can only give me pain medication and NSAIDs for that.

We discussed my thumb joint replacement and he wants me to see a hand specialist instead of the orthopedic surgeon I saw in December. I'm happy about that. I'd rather trust the resulting usefulness of my thumb to someone who only does hands.

So, again I am waiting, four months this time. I'm on a higher dose of pred, which will only worsen my osteoporosis. I have no DMARD but plaquenil to control the RA. The RA is worsening the osteoarthritis, which will lead to more pain and more joint replacements.

I'm not too happy, or too comfortable. I'm too agitated to sleep if my parts would even let me. I wish I'd rushed to the pharmacy before they closed. Maybe the codeine would have been a little help.

I really doubt that I'll ever gain enough weight to satisfy him. My pre-RA weight was 98lbs. and since RA, I've had a lot of trouble staying above 90. I'm almost to the point of just relying on pain treatment alone. It doesn't seem like my disease treatment is going anywhere at all. I don't know how long I can tread this kind of water, or how much more patience I can find to keep up the waiting. I. just. feel. about done.

Waiting for Wednesday

When you have rheumatoid arthritis you spend a lot of time waiting. It seems you are always waiting to see if the latest DMARD (Disease Modifying Antirheumatic Drug) is going to work to control the disease. You wait in numerous doctors offices and labs. Most of all, you just wait to have your life back. RA CAN take your life.

I guess I haven't given up all hope in having my pre-RA life back. I still have hopes that I'll run more 10K races, play more bluegrass music, hike for miles, mow my own grass, wear rings and bracelets and cute shoes, ride half-crazy horses, restore old violins, sleep through the night and spring out of bed the next day . . . you know I could go on and on.

I pin hopes on every appointment with my rheumatologist. I have a lot of faith in him, but the visits are so short that I often come away wondering what I can expect from the changes he makes in my medication. RA waxes and wanes on its own, for me, even without treatment. So, it is awfully hard to tell if anything really makes a difference or not. I'm wanting the difference that cannot be mistaken. I want to feel like I did before I knew what RA was.

Right now my hopes are on Wednesday, my next rheumatologist appointment. I have hopes that this appointment will bring all the things I've been missing back to me. If it does, I promise not to take any of those things for granted. I know that remission usually doesn't last forever and you have to start the whole process over again when your treatment stops working. I'll take whatever I can get.

I haven't been feeling too bad today. I'm still fighting the sinus infection and I've had to rely on pain medication to manage, but I don't feel like chopping off any body parts. I'm living the usual life with rheumatoid arthritis, I'm waiting, for Wednesday.