Sunday morning

I think I may have to take action on the sore throat after all. I'm running a fever and can barely swallow. And, although when I'm hurting so much emotionally that dying sounds like the easiest thing, I'm not that selfish. Although my daughter is gone, there are others who depend on me.

After losing my spleen in 2007, as a complication of RA, I have to be especially careful about infections. I can develop septicemia within hours. The spleen performs many functions in the body, one of which is defense against encapsulated bacteria. Strep is one of those bacteria. I carry a wide-spectrum antibiotic with me at all times to cover me until I see a doctor and I've been very fortunate that I have not had a major problem so far.

I know I'll live, although living seems the hardest thing to do.

I hope my baby girl is happy and well on this Sunday morning. I miss her.